return my video game
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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