You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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