Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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