just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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