You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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