Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
smell my finger.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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