This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
