what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
