i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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