i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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