i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
