i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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