dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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