mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
