Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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