Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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