so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
