used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
