Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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