Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm having to shit out rocks
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
