shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
