she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
