I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
