it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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