About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
