just tell him i said nine months
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
