I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
