i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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