I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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