That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
