i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
