dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
