the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
