I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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