ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
