Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
