just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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