im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
