OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
