i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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