I didn't shave. On purpose
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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