Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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