Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
