Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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