opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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