ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
