I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize