So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
