If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
