You work out of a Hotel?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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