Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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