Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
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Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
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the liver wants what the liver wants
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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