it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
