The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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