I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's on the porch naked. Help.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize