I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize