yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
