lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
