just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
