I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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