Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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