We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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